Tony’s hope story: Learning to forgive and getting a fresh start

It all started with a nourishing meal and a warm welcome at The Bowery Mission

Tony spent his life living and working in New York City. Everything changed abruptly with the pandemic when he was laid off. His finances dwindled and he couldn’t afford food. Hunger brought him to The Bowery Mission, but he found so much more. Hear from Tony as he shares how he’s been able to get back on his feet by God’s grace and thanks to friends like you.

My name is Tony and I’ve spent my entire life living and working in New York City. After college, I got a full-time job at my alma mater where I spent 30 years managing the fitness center, coaching cross-country, and teaching physical education. I never imagined it would all come to an abrupt end.

In 2020, everything changed. Amidst the chaos of the COVID-19 pandemic, I received the devastating news that I was being let go after three decades of service. Needless to say, it struck a deep blow to my pride and sense of purpose. Though I continued teaching part-time online, when the chance to return to in-person teaching arose the following year, I turned it down.

In need of help, hope and peace

As days turned into weeks and weeks into months, I resisted reaching out to anyone for help, even as my finances dwindled. I was used to being the one offering support, not receiving it, so I convinced myself that I could manage alone. It wasn’t until September 2022, when hunger struck, that I humbled myself and sought assistance at The Bowery Mission for meals.

While I was initially hesitant to try the Mission’s chapel services, as I wasn’t a regular churchgoer, I found unexpected solace within those walls. The messages were sincere and straightforward, offering a profound sense of peace. Gradually, those services became the highlight of my day, and I decided to begin attending the onsite Bible study too. It was during those sessions with the staff that I began to confront my resentment toward my former employer and learned to forgive.

In November of 2023, while I was onsite at The Bowery Mission getting a new pair of eyeglasses, I was approached by staff who told me about the Mission’s Residential Program for men and encouraged me to consider joining. I knew eviction was looming, and it was time to stop running from myself. So I enrolled and have never looked back.

Learning to forgive and move forward

In my counseling sessions and classes, I’ve continued to peel back the layers and confront the deep-seated issues that led me to this place. Realizing I’m not alone in these struggles has been comforting; I’ve found a lot of camaraderie and support from fellow clients. With the support of The Bowery Mission community, I’m learning to embrace vulnerability, recognizing that true strength lies in humility and self-awareness. I look at that sense of vulnerability not as a weakness, but as being human. We don’t always have to have the answer.

As I think about the road ahead, I do so with renewed hope and determination. I’m getting my resume polished up and getting back into the job search. I haven’t had to do that for over 30 years. I’m taking it a step at a time. My journey at the Mission is far from over, but I am grateful for the chance to slow down and take each day as it comes. Moving forward, I understand that genuine progress requires setting aside my pride and being willing to seek help when needed. As a former cross-country coach, I’m inspired by this wisdom from scripture, which reminds us to run life’s race with perseverance, saying:

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.” — 1 Corinthians 9:24-27